OK, the holidays should have started now that I'm out of Islamabad. However, true to form, I haven't quite finished the audit report... Have, however, been planning my sightseeing for the next few days as well as been watching copious amounts of this American sitcom "Cougar Town". So, progress of a sort ;-)...
Anyway, I'm currently watching the Netherlands-Uruguay semi final and have more or less decided to betray my Orange friends and support plucky littel Uruguay. Not a great choice as it's already 1-nil to Netherlands with them currently holding 65% possession. Why do I do this to myself?
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
Monday, 5 July 2010
Restarting the monster
Well, it's been over a year since I last blogged and it's been an "interesting" one, in the Chinese sense of the word. I'll probably write more about Haiti at some point: I'm sure it'll be good for me - a carthatic experience and all that - but quite frankly, I can't get it straight in my head, even months on. I no longer have nightmares or panic attacks or feel as emotionally fragile as I once did, but I still feel a long way from being able to comprehend what has happened. I'm not sure if I ever will. And I can't even begin to think about Ann or Jan, and the thousands of other victims that I'm connected to via friends or colleagues. And I can't allow myself to think about the future of Haiti, what has changed and what it's become.
To be honest, the only real reason I'm restarting at this very moment is simple pure procrastination: I've just spent the last two weeks during a systems review of the operation here in Pakistan and I've now got to write the stupid report on it. Surprisingly enough, I really enjoyed the actual fieldwork element of it - talking to staff, looking at their systems in place, visiting their partners (we do all our implementation here through partners). It made me realise that I actually do know what I'm talking about and am pretty good at my job - something which is pretty easy to forget after two months' off. However, I've now got a whole list of points (in excel, of course) that I need to then convert to a professional sounding report. THIS is by far the dullest part of the job - I absolutely hate writing reports. Plus I have no real deadline apart from wanting to get this over and done with (and be paid ;-)) as soon as possible.
Anyway, I have now kick-started this blog and changed the template, so am running out of excuses to not get on with it. Let's see how long it lasts this time!
To be honest, the only real reason I'm restarting at this very moment is simple pure procrastination: I've just spent the last two weeks during a systems review of the operation here in Pakistan and I've now got to write the stupid report on it. Surprisingly enough, I really enjoyed the actual fieldwork element of it - talking to staff, looking at their systems in place, visiting their partners (we do all our implementation here through partners). It made me realise that I actually do know what I'm talking about and am pretty good at my job - something which is pretty easy to forget after two months' off. However, I've now got a whole list of points (in excel, of course) that I need to then convert to a professional sounding report. THIS is by far the dullest part of the job - I absolutely hate writing reports. Plus I have no real deadline apart from wanting to get this over and done with (and be paid ;-)) as soon as possible.
Anyway, I have now kick-started this blog and changed the template, so am running out of excuses to not get on with it. Let's see how long it lasts this time!
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
A few random things...
I'm actually posting this from work while waiting for the bloody download of an account which refuses to reconcile. Yes, very exciting....
This is going to be a series of random points because I can't be bothered to structure it properly and because I haven't posted in a while. But first of all, happy St Paddy's!! Since I work for an Oirish NGO, I consider myself an honorary member of the race. Especially if they win the Grand Slam on Saturday.
1. Work eased up for a couple of weeks (or rather, I eased up on work for a couple of weeks, same difference) and is now pretty manic with very late reports and audits and prep for the next budget revision going on. This budget revision is going to be pretty diffcult to balance given that exchange rates have worsened and we have much less money - mostly due to DFID not coughing up on a proposal. Not looking forward to this at all,,,
2. Spent the weekend up in Furcy (in the mountains) "doing the Hash". The Hash is basically a walking and drinking club - due to about half of regular contingent being Americans in their early twenties, there seems to be an inordinate amount of beer worship going on and scenes straight out of my memories of undergrad which sometimes gets a bit old, especially as I can't stand beer and get bitter when faced with fresh-faced youngsters with their whole lives ahead of them and that particular arrogance that you generally see with the young and stupid.
However, it was indeed a fantastic walk and bumped into a few old friends. Also, met and shook hands with the President - Rene Preval!! He was a lot shorter than I had imagined, and dressed far more casually. One of us actually dared to ask him to pose in a photo and got a kiss on the cheek for her pains. Bitch.
3. Having an old uni friend coming over for just over a week towards the end of the month so having fun planning stuff to do. Have made a resolution to stop whining about Haiti and be Ms Positive from here on out.
4. Breaking that resolution immediately by giving a list of our "friends" (as Brian would say) for the year - apparently, this year is going to be even worse than the triple Gustav/Ike/Hanna whammy that we had last year. BTW, I have had so many comments about the third one that it's no longer funny:
Ana
Bill
Caroline
Danny
Erika
Fred
Grace
Henri
Ida
Joaquin
Kate
Larry
Mindy
Nicholas
Odette
Peter
Rose
Sam
Teresa
VictorWanda
My money's on Joaquin being a twat.
5. For those of you who are interested in this sort of thing, a new report on security in Haiti has been released by International Crisis Group. Nothing at all surprising or dramatic - a bit of a "meh" report. There hasn't seemed to be an further trouble since the Lavalas party nomination debacle but this could just be the calm before the storm so cross fingers for April 19th.
http://www.crisisgroup.org/home/index.cfm?id=5952&l=1
6. Elections were over months ago but still feel like I should share this little titbit - it's a definite laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-_JhRJ0tWA
7. Some friends/colleagues have added up projector plus sheet plus gazebo by the pool plus Dominos pizza and come up with Sunday movie nights at Les Acajous. Currently, we've been watching early James Bond and can I just take this opportunity to say that Sean Connery is HOT. I mean really really scorching HOT. Phew!!
Friday, 20 February 2009
Why I should have posted on Monday...
I had an abolutely fantastic weekend at the Jacmel carnival plus a lovely lazy day off on Monday where I was far too lazy and generally happy with the world to post on being lazy and generally happy with the world. Not to meantion pics and stuff...
Now, I'm pissed off and true to form, this is when I choose to post.
It's nothing major or earth-shattering or even new for that matter, but for some reason, it's just pissing me off more than usual. It's the attitude in my organisation: aside from that one pest whose Performance review is coming up [evil cackle], I think my Finance team and the Systems team work extremely hard and have a fantastic work ethic. They stay late to finish things and work weekends on demand. They are great and more than I deserve. Both my Country Director and our Head Office in Dublin demand a huge amount of both Finance and Systems in general, which is fine in and of itself. I mean I demand a lot of my staff and also of myself: I'm the original perfectionist as most Finance/Systems people tend to be - our reputation for being anal does come from somewhere unfortunately....
The issue however, is not the amount of work per se but that it seems that people in Programmes are allowed to skive off, fuck up and be incompetent, and then blame everything else (especially us) for why things are not getting done. It's infuriating in and of itself but even more so when it bloody works. Everything that Finance and Systems does is scrutinised with a fine comb - we get asked questions when Administration overspends on a line by a mere EUR15k! However, when Project managers spend twice their agreed budget for the last quarter of the year, they're not even given a slap on the wrist while we have to scramble around trying to justify their overspends to our Head Office. One particularl project manager I'm thinking not only overspent hugely on her budget but created a cluster fuck of immense proportions with her management of a partner. As far as I'm aware, she didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist but it was us in Finance who are running around like headless chickens trying to clean up after her mess and being blamed for it.
Grrrrrrrr.....
Aside from that Project Manager [may she burn in hell for the stress she is causing my team], I had one of my (pretty rare) differences of opinion with my Country Director today. Generally, I love and worship her - I think she's fantastic: she's been in Haiti for over a decade and has basically settled here with husband and two gorgeous children. She knows projects inside out and actually recognises the importance of finance/accounting which is all good. However, she's got a variant of that attitude: it's all about capacity building and hand-holding with Programmes but whereas we in Finance/Systems are meant to be above all that and with limitless capacity to do more and more work because those in Programmes can't get their shit together. When a budget revision comes up, we in finance have to make sure that we're around to "give support" to Project Managers - which basically means us doing their budgets for them because they can't put fucking numbers into a fucking spreadsheet. I mean, it's not bloody rocket science and it's not that just because we work in finance that we understand how to put together a budget - it's because we're intelligent and have common sense. Which is what you assume Project Managers to have, not to meantion the ability to BLOODY MANAGE PROJECTS!!!!!!
Whew! Obviously needed to get that off my chest. Didn't realise I had all that in me...
Anyway, on a more calm and reflective note, she brought up a point about cultural differences in that Haitians apparently work more in the oral medium and have a sort of cultural blindness to the written word. Which is why whenever you want something to be disseminated across the organisation, you can't just send an email/memo round but you have to make sure that they are told it verbally.
Now I think that's a load of bollocks personally. Yes, some people work better orally than in written and vice versa, and maybe Haitian culture does put a precedence on the oral. But a professional organisation can't operate like that - whenever you need people to do something as simple as filling in timesheets every month for example, you just don't have the time every month to chat to and probably argue with the 60 odd people that need to do it, and it makes no sense to convene a meeting just for that purpose. Same issue with procedures dealing with partner managment, which we've been going on about for months. I mean how difficult is it to read and understand a bloody email - it's not me trying to force Western values on another society but of trying to get stuff that needs to be done, done with the least amount of wastage.
Giving people excuses such as differing cultural values for not doing things is still perpetuating that same idea of the "otherness" of other races. People are people wherever you go in the world with the same abilities and intelligence and drive and work ethic (or lack of). Excusing an educated guy for not reading his emails because it's not "Haitian culture" ignores the fact that other Haitians do somehow manage to do it, and that he's just, in the end, a simple lazy bugger.
Anyway, that's my big whinge for at least, ohhh, the next week or so. Carnival (the big one) is coming up so have three lovely bank holidays next week. Unfortunately, will be working on at least one of them but still looking forward to it. Might even find the time to post about some good stuff like Jacmel ;). Keep your hopes up, people...
Now, I'm pissed off and true to form, this is when I choose to post.
It's nothing major or earth-shattering or even new for that matter, but for some reason, it's just pissing me off more than usual. It's the attitude in my organisation: aside from that one pest whose Performance review is coming up [evil cackle], I think my Finance team and the Systems team work extremely hard and have a fantastic work ethic. They stay late to finish things and work weekends on demand. They are great and more than I deserve. Both my Country Director and our Head Office in Dublin demand a huge amount of both Finance and Systems in general, which is fine in and of itself. I mean I demand a lot of my staff and also of myself: I'm the original perfectionist as most Finance/Systems people tend to be - our reputation for being anal does come from somewhere unfortunately....
The issue however, is not the amount of work per se but that it seems that people in Programmes are allowed to skive off, fuck up and be incompetent, and then blame everything else (especially us) for why things are not getting done. It's infuriating in and of itself but even more so when it bloody works. Everything that Finance and Systems does is scrutinised with a fine comb - we get asked questions when Administration overspends on a line by a mere EUR15k! However, when Project managers spend twice their agreed budget for the last quarter of the year, they're not even given a slap on the wrist while we have to scramble around trying to justify their overspends to our Head Office. One particularl project manager I'm thinking not only overspent hugely on her budget but created a cluster fuck of immense proportions with her management of a partner. As far as I'm aware, she didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist but it was us in Finance who are running around like headless chickens trying to clean up after her mess and being blamed for it.
Grrrrrrrr.....
Aside from that Project Manager [may she burn in hell for the stress she is causing my team], I had one of my (pretty rare) differences of opinion with my Country Director today. Generally, I love and worship her - I think she's fantastic: she's been in Haiti for over a decade and has basically settled here with husband and two gorgeous children. She knows projects inside out and actually recognises the importance of finance/accounting which is all good. However, she's got a variant of that attitude: it's all about capacity building and hand-holding with Programmes but whereas we in Finance/Systems are meant to be above all that and with limitless capacity to do more and more work because those in Programmes can't get their shit together. When a budget revision comes up, we in finance have to make sure that we're around to "give support" to Project Managers - which basically means us doing their budgets for them because they can't put fucking numbers into a fucking spreadsheet. I mean, it's not bloody rocket science and it's not that just because we work in finance that we understand how to put together a budget - it's because we're intelligent and have common sense. Which is what you assume Project Managers to have, not to meantion the ability to BLOODY MANAGE PROJECTS!!!!!!
Whew! Obviously needed to get that off my chest. Didn't realise I had all that in me...
Anyway, on a more calm and reflective note, she brought up a point about cultural differences in that Haitians apparently work more in the oral medium and have a sort of cultural blindness to the written word. Which is why whenever you want something to be disseminated across the organisation, you can't just send an email/memo round but you have to make sure that they are told it verbally.
Now I think that's a load of bollocks personally. Yes, some people work better orally than in written and vice versa, and maybe Haitian culture does put a precedence on the oral. But a professional organisation can't operate like that - whenever you need people to do something as simple as filling in timesheets every month for example, you just don't have the time every month to chat to and probably argue with the 60 odd people that need to do it, and it makes no sense to convene a meeting just for that purpose. Same issue with procedures dealing with partner managment, which we've been going on about for months. I mean how difficult is it to read and understand a bloody email - it's not me trying to force Western values on another society but of trying to get stuff that needs to be done, done with the least amount of wastage.
Giving people excuses such as differing cultural values for not doing things is still perpetuating that same idea of the "otherness" of other races. People are people wherever you go in the world with the same abilities and intelligence and drive and work ethic (or lack of). Excusing an educated guy for not reading his emails because it's not "Haitian culture" ignores the fact that other Haitians do somehow manage to do it, and that he's just, in the end, a simple lazy bugger.
Anyway, that's my big whinge for at least, ohhh, the next week or so. Carnival (the big one) is coming up so have three lovely bank holidays next week. Unfortunately, will be working on at least one of them but still looking forward to it. Might even find the time to post about some good stuff like Jacmel ;). Keep your hopes up, people...
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
2009 has finally started...
Just a quickie.
Finally sent off the final 2008 accounts today so insha'allah, that would be the end of that and 2009 (not to mention my life) can finally start. Started well this evening by planning my holidays for the rest of the year which was pretty fun. Also planned my three days of Carnival which will be very low key. Except for the Jacmel Carnival this weekend. Get ready for some pics...
I've probably lost the 2 people who were actually reading my blog by my prolonged absence but promise to be a lot better.
It's ten to midnight so better get some sleep. Will post more this week.
Finally sent off the final 2008 accounts today so insha'allah, that would be the end of that and 2009 (not to mention my life) can finally start. Started well this evening by planning my holidays for the rest of the year which was pretty fun. Also planned my three days of Carnival which will be very low key. Except for the Jacmel Carnival this weekend. Get ready for some pics...
I've probably lost the 2 people who were actually reading my blog by my prolonged absence but promise to be a lot better.
It's ten to midnight so better get some sleep. Will post more this week.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
I love London!
More specifically, I love shopping and friends and Fung Shing and shopping and new clothes. And friends who shop with me. Now all I need to make life absolutely perfect is a pair of knee-high boots.
Consumerism - give me more. I wonder if shops will be still be closed Sunday morning...
Consumerism - give me more. I wonder if shops will be still be closed Sunday morning...
Saturday, 20 December 2008
I wanna go back to the Caribbean...
I've now been back in London for just over 12 hours and it's already pissing me off. Most of this is because it's BLOODY FREEZING. I'd almost forgotten what being cold feels like and really didn't need the reminder. I'd also gone home finding out that the central heating had broken dowm some time ago and my lovely former flatmate hadn't bothered to get it fixed.
Not a great start. I HATE being cold.
This feels like a complete reversal from the last time I was back which was for a mere 36 hours where everything about London was amazing - even the things that used to irritate me. Now, they're back to irritating me.
I need sleep, I think. Due to budgets and year end and packing, I haven't really had a proper night's sleep since last weekend and feeling crabby as a result.
Shopping tomorrow. Last weekend before Xmas? Hmmnnn...
Not a great start. I HATE being cold.
This feels like a complete reversal from the last time I was back which was for a mere 36 hours where everything about London was amazing - even the things that used to irritate me. Now, they're back to irritating me.
I need sleep, I think. Due to budgets and year end and packing, I haven't really had a proper night's sleep since last weekend and feeling crabby as a result.
Shopping tomorrow. Last weekend before Xmas? Hmmnnn...
Monday, 24 November 2008
Nekkid All Blacks...
Just to make up for the gratuitous 80s photo below, here's what the world needs more of. Next to World Peace and Obama.
[Sigh]. Now why can't they do that on our beaches over here...
[Sigh]. Now why can't they do that on our beaches over here...
80s parties. Even more bleh...
Also, for those of you who are misguided enough to actually like 80s music and, even worse, 80s themed parties, here’s some photos of our last one. Yep, in Haiti, we party like it’s 1986.
The guy in front is my crazy Dutch collegue doing his Springsteen. Apparently.
Budget cuts part 2, power cuts part 3209, Xmas shopping and the Dominican Republic. Bleh.
Saturday evening:
I’m currently writing this by the light of a very noisy gas lamp as my inverters have once again crashed and I’m waiting for the generator to come back on to give me a previous 2hr more of electricity.
To explain for those of you who live in places where you have 24hr mains electricity 7 days a week, in Haiti, like many developing countries, most businesses and households who can afford it live on a combination of inverters (ie specially designed batteries) and generators. As running a generator is pretty costly, what they tend to do is charge up the inverters so that even when the generator is off, we can still function to a degree. We can’t run kettles, irons, rice cookers and, most crucially of all, computer servers on inverters, but anything else is pretty much OK.
Unfortunately, the connections between generators and inverters are pretty fragile – if you sneeze, something somewhere seems to go wrong. And it always seems to happen when I come into work over a weekend to get stuff done for a particularly looming deadline and, of course, this is the time when nothing bloody works. Having watched too much "Heroes" recently, I'm starting to think that I have an anti-tech superpower. Hmmmnnn...
Another rant (which makes me glad I've been nominally keeping this blog semi-anonymous): had to find another EUR600k for our 2009 budget once we got the latest forex rates from Head Office. They gave us a USD/EUR rate of 1.47 in September for the original budget only to give us a rate of 1.25 last Friday for the final budget. And this is actually halfway through our field budgeting process so, thanks loads guys for leaving it practically to the last minute, we really appreciate doing the last-minute slash n’ burn... And that’s sadly not all – they actually only realised yesterday ie A FULL WEEK AFTERWARDS how much the rate change would fuck us up budget-wise. I mean, this is not something that was unexpected – we’d been worried about in-country ever since the Euro started its freefall and we’re only managing the finances for one bloody country, not 40!! The CEO then sent us an email last thing Friday (their time) to get us some info on currency spend by first thing Monday so that they could finally put together a plan. Stupid me, I just thought that they obviously must have had a plan for some time but were being bureaucratically crappy in not sharing. Really should stop giving people the benefit of the doubt here and just assume that they're all idiots.
So that was a bundle of laughs but we’re more or less there – it’s going to be fucking painful and will involve the “r” word for some members of staff but we just about got our budget to balance. After some playing around with the figures, of course – isn’t that what a Finance Coordinator is meant to do afterall?
Anyway, enough about work - had a great day today in Jacmel, a small but charming town a couple hours’ drive from Port au Prince. It’s lovely – not only is it peaceful and calm and not as frenetic, stressful or dangerous as the capital, it’s also the handicrafts capital of Haiti. Which, judging by the amount of Haitian art/handicraft on display in the Dominican Republic for one, is saying a lot (although perhaps more about the quality of local Dominican art...). Hence my shopping trip. Aside from the mountain of presents (to the point that I was trying to calculate my baggage allowance while shopping), I spent the equivalent of USD25 on a huge papier-mâché frog – it was sooooooooo cute I just couldn’t resist. Will hopefully take a pic of it to upload so you can see exactly what I mean. Might try kissing it later to see if I get my Prince Charming but only if I get the option of turning him right back if PC does not measure up to the cuteness of my personal Gromit...
I also spent a long weekend last week in the Dominican Republic which was very much needed but a bit underwhelming. Most of that was my fault not speaking Spanish or having any real interest in Dominican culture outside its shopping and beaches. Also, I found it unexpectedly lonely. I suppose I should have realised that the Caribbean is not exactly a backpacker place so difficult to do what I normally do and meet up with fellow travellers. Still, it was relaxing to say the least and I probably will go back to do it properly. Did do a whole load of shopping and went up to Las Terranos for two days for some time at the beach. This beach:
I’m currently writing this by the light of a very noisy gas lamp as my inverters have once again crashed and I’m waiting for the generator to come back on to give me a previous 2hr more of electricity.
To explain for those of you who live in places where you have 24hr mains electricity 7 days a week, in Haiti, like many developing countries, most businesses and households who can afford it live on a combination of inverters (ie specially designed batteries) and generators. As running a generator is pretty costly, what they tend to do is charge up the inverters so that even when the generator is off, we can still function to a degree. We can’t run kettles, irons, rice cookers and, most crucially of all, computer servers on inverters, but anything else is pretty much OK.
Unfortunately, the connections between generators and inverters are pretty fragile – if you sneeze, something somewhere seems to go wrong. And it always seems to happen when I come into work over a weekend to get stuff done for a particularly looming deadline and, of course, this is the time when nothing bloody works. Having watched too much "Heroes" recently, I'm starting to think that I have an anti-tech superpower. Hmmmnnn...
Another rant (which makes me glad I've been nominally keeping this blog semi-anonymous): had to find another EUR600k for our 2009 budget once we got the latest forex rates from Head Office. They gave us a USD/EUR rate of 1.47 in September for the original budget only to give us a rate of 1.25 last Friday for the final budget. And this is actually halfway through our field budgeting process so, thanks loads guys for leaving it practically to the last minute, we really appreciate doing the last-minute slash n’ burn... And that’s sadly not all – they actually only realised yesterday ie A FULL WEEK AFTERWARDS how much the rate change would fuck us up budget-wise. I mean, this is not something that was unexpected – we’d been worried about in-country ever since the Euro started its freefall and we’re only managing the finances for one bloody country, not 40!! The CEO then sent us an email last thing Friday (their time) to get us some info on currency spend by first thing Monday so that they could finally put together a plan. Stupid me, I just thought that they obviously must have had a plan for some time but were being bureaucratically crappy in not sharing. Really should stop giving people the benefit of the doubt here and just assume that they're all idiots.
So that was a bundle of laughs but we’re more or less there – it’s going to be fucking painful and will involve the “r” word for some members of staff but we just about got our budget to balance. After some playing around with the figures, of course – isn’t that what a Finance Coordinator is meant to do afterall?
Anyway, enough about work - had a great day today in Jacmel, a small but charming town a couple hours’ drive from Port au Prince. It’s lovely – not only is it peaceful and calm and not as frenetic, stressful or dangerous as the capital, it’s also the handicrafts capital of Haiti. Which, judging by the amount of Haitian art/handicraft on display in the Dominican Republic for one, is saying a lot (although perhaps more about the quality of local Dominican art...). Hence my shopping trip. Aside from the mountain of presents (to the point that I was trying to calculate my baggage allowance while shopping), I spent the equivalent of USD25 on a huge papier-mâché frog – it was sooooooooo cute I just couldn’t resist. Will hopefully take a pic of it to upload so you can see exactly what I mean. Might try kissing it later to see if I get my Prince Charming but only if I get the option of turning him right back if PC does not measure up to the cuteness of my personal Gromit...
I also spent a long weekend last week in the Dominican Republic which was very much needed but a bit underwhelming. Most of that was my fault not speaking Spanish or having any real interest in Dominican culture outside its shopping and beaches. Also, I found it unexpectedly lonely. I suppose I should have realised that the Caribbean is not exactly a backpacker place so difficult to do what I normally do and meet up with fellow travellers. Still, it was relaxing to say the least and I probably will go back to do it properly. Did do a whole load of shopping and went up to Las Terranos for two days for some time at the beach. This beach:
I also took the opportunity to see a gratuitously violent American action flick where Paris was portrayed as THE place for the abduction of young white nubile American teenagers into sex slavery and the pleasuring of sleazy middle-aged Arab businessmen. Yep, Paris should henceforth be known as the City of Crack Whoredom - might actually give a boost to their tourist industry and keep them out of recession. It was the type of film with that peculiarly Hollywood construct of a machine gun that can’t seem to hit a guy running towards you 5 feet away – if those machine guns existed during WW1, maybe the whole thing could have been over by Xmas... Needless to say, I loved it. And the popcorn. Although there was this Dominican guy sitting behind us in the cinema who took the piss out of me when I refused to watch the screen during a particularly gruesome (and, if I may say so, pretty fucking prolonged) scene of torture. I love screen violence – I’m a chop-socky girl after all - just more the really brilliantly choreographed violence of Tarantino or Shaw Brothers where the violence is cool/funny or almost like a dance. I’m a real wuss when it comes to realistic violence or torture porn which doesn’t do much for my “hard as nails” image.
OK, you guys can stop laughing now – I like to at least THINK I have a hard image. Come on - shut the fuck up. Take that back, I am not a sweet motherfucking bunny!! I'm hard grizzled cynical aid worker, I am.
Right, I’m leaving. Got no respect here.
-----------------------------------------
Sunday afternoon:
Got power back this morning – yippee!! Apparently, it was something so simple as the breakers not, erm, breaking. Or something. It took the electrician exactly 2 mins to fix and make me feel like a stupid female. Wherever you go in the world, that never bloody changes...
Saturday, 1 November 2008
What to say...
Friday evening and waiting for our night driver to pick me up for dinner with the boss and the internal auditor...
Actually, it's not as bad as it sounds - I really like my boss and have bonded (as much as is possible) with Zoe. But still, not my ideal way to spend Friday night. It has been crazy over here, though - the pain of uploading revised 2008 budgets which you know are completely useless due to the apparent freefall of the Euro since when they were done. And then preparing for 2009 detailed budgets/activity plans... Oh yes, small matter of quarterly reporting to Dublin. And the internal audit.
So, same old same old.
What has been pretty depressing, though, is reading about what's been happening across the world. In a rare moment of reason, the BBC World Service actually spent most of their newshour today on the DRC and the events happening over there instead of boring us with things we already know about the US election.
DRC was my second mission after Darfur - which sounds well hard but my missions at that time were quick in/out deals to sort out the latest financial crisis (of which there were many...). Still, as wretched as Goma the city was, it's hard to describe the effect that the East DRC has on you - it's too bland to say that it's beautiful: it's so much more primal than that. To be surrounded by jungle and overlooking Lake Kivu - however long I live, I will never forget that frisson... When I was there back in 2005, in contrast to most of the surrounding area Goma actually felt very safe due to the large contingent of MONUC soldiers over there. Still, you always had a sense that it couldn't last, that there were too factors pulling the area down the abyss, too many "skirmishes" and "incidents". And it looks like it's finally happened. To be honest, it's miracle it's taken that long for something to finally break.
OK, driver has arrived. Let's hope when I get back, I'll be in a better mood.
Actually, it's not as bad as it sounds - I really like my boss and have bonded (as much as is possible) with Zoe. But still, not my ideal way to spend Friday night. It has been crazy over here, though - the pain of uploading revised 2008 budgets which you know are completely useless due to the apparent freefall of the Euro since when they were done. And then preparing for 2009 detailed budgets/activity plans... Oh yes, small matter of quarterly reporting to Dublin. And the internal audit.
So, same old same old.
What has been pretty depressing, though, is reading about what's been happening across the world. In a rare moment of reason, the BBC World Service actually spent most of their newshour today on the DRC and the events happening over there instead of boring us with things we already know about the US election.
DRC was my second mission after Darfur - which sounds well hard but my missions at that time were quick in/out deals to sort out the latest financial crisis (of which there were many...). Still, as wretched as Goma the city was, it's hard to describe the effect that the East DRC has on you - it's too bland to say that it's beautiful: it's so much more primal than that. To be surrounded by jungle and overlooking Lake Kivu - however long I live, I will never forget that frisson... When I was there back in 2005, in contrast to most of the surrounding area Goma actually felt very safe due to the large contingent of MONUC soldiers over there. Still, you always had a sense that it couldn't last, that there were too factors pulling the area down the abyss, too many "skirmishes" and "incidents". And it looks like it's finally happened. To be honest, it's miracle it's taken that long for something to finally break.
OK, driver has arrived. Let's hope when I get back, I'll be in a better mood.
Friday, 17 October 2008
Budget cuts...
It's an official holiday here in Haiti and am in the office reading through an email sent by HO on our 2009 budget.
I'm in shock.
I knew that things were bad in Ireland, not to mention the rest of the world, and that funding is going to be hugely affected as a result but I didn't think it would be this bad. Our unrestricted budget is now cut by almost half - this would be cutting our already stretched 2009 budget by almost 20%.
I feel like crying... There's so much need in this country and the projects we were proposing to do would be less than a drop in that ocean. But now, not being able to do that - it's fucking heartbreaking. From a selfish point of view, it would probably also mean significant staff costs, and these are people who I've grown close to and who have often worked for us for a number of years.
Oh fuck it. I'm getting drunk tonight.
I'm in shock.
I knew that things were bad in Ireland, not to mention the rest of the world, and that funding is going to be hugely affected as a result but I didn't think it would be this bad. Our unrestricted budget is now cut by almost half - this would be cutting our already stretched 2009 budget by almost 20%.
I feel like crying... There's so much need in this country and the projects we were proposing to do would be less than a drop in that ocean. But now, not being able to do that - it's fucking heartbreaking. From a selfish point of view, it would probably also mean significant staff costs, and these are people who I've grown close to and who have often worked for us for a number of years.
Oh fuck it. I'm getting drunk tonight.
Monday, 13 October 2008
PPS New Look
Decided out of boredom and procratinating (strange how they go together) to change the look of my blog. You can never have enough pink...
PS Tina
Tina the Invisible Cat is no longer invisible - in fact, ever since I came back from Mozambique, she is now Tina the Co-Dependent Cat who Tries to Eat All My Food and Follows Me Everywhere.
She is now purring in my lap while I type. Hurrah for 10 days of neglect.
[PPS. In case you got the wrong idea, I didn't leave her totally alone - got my maid to come in every day to feed her and change the litter...]
She is now purring in my lap while I type. Hurrah for 10 days of neglect.
[PPS. In case you got the wrong idea, I didn't leave her totally alone - got my maid to come in every day to feed her and change the litter...]
Back to reality. Well, my reality...
Here's a little piccie of a very brief reunion with some friends during my 36hr transit through London last weekend. You don't know this but I left about 2 mins after this picture was taken. Needed to do some last minute shopping, you see. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you guys - it was really really important shopping...
Anyway, it was a crazy trip to Maputo, Mozambique. The journey there was brutal: TWO overnight flights and a 6 hrs stopover in London where I literally had to call a friend from the airport desperately hoping for her to take me in for a few hours as I'd stupidly lost my flat keys. By the time I arrived in Mozambique on Sunday, I was a complete wreck with the combined sleep deprivation and messed up time zones. It was not pretty. But I did manage to buy myself the third season of Supernatural so the geek in me was happy if a tad more spaced out than usual. Which, for those of you who know me well, is pretty frightening.
The finance conference/workshop itself was fantastic - learnt a great deal of stuff and was given a number of really useful tools with which to navigate my NGO's ridiculousely complex financial systems. It was also great to meet people who think the same way I do - the well known "NGO Accountants of the World Unite Syndrome" [you don't know it, but we'll rise up and conquer the world, just you wait...]. So what we did was mostly bitch about Programmes...
The bunch of us happily bonded over detailed fantasies of long and intense induced agony for project managers who cannot manage their projects, shared experiences of fraud, incomprehension over our organisation's accounting systems, and really excellent seafood. One of the guys there used to do my job in Haiti so we gossiped quite a bit over the peccadiloes (mostly sexual) of people we knew [had to say that I was shocked at a person who I though was so sweet with teddy bear eyes was cheating on his wife...]. And I had a number of common acquaintences with another person there so we did the obligatory "My God, the aid world is SO small" - something that's repeated without fail at practically any expat party you go to in the capitals of Third World countries.
Oh, have to mention the bollywood movie. Fantastic storyline: "blind girl falls for guy and they have a one night stand but guy gets killed in bomb attack before they could get married but then actually turns out to be a number one terrorist who faked the whole thing but then accidentally turns up injured at the girl's doorstep 8 years later (girl can obviously now see) and finds out he has a sprog but of course now she doesn't recognise him because of aforementioned blindness (not to mention the dead thing) but now, of course, the Indian army and his fellow terrorists are after him because he has a trigger for a nuclear weapon...". God, that was a fantastic film. And what is sad is that I'm actually very very serious.
Didn't really get to see much of Mozambique, unfortunately but was bloody impressed by the pavements and electricity and tarmaced roads. And the fact that we could walk around at night and not fall into a sewer or get kidnapped - I mean, they had STREET LIGHTS and what seemed to be 24hr electricity ie no generators. It took a bit of getting used to...
Anyway, the journey back to Haiti was a lot more fun - and was done in nice easy stages. Also the in-flight entertainment was a lot better [have to mention THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM here with Jackie Chan and Jet Li - crap film but come on: Jackie Chan and Jet Li and just about every kung fu cliche you can imagine - absolute heaven...]. And I got to have that 36hrs stopover in London (reference photo above).
The stopover was definitely mucho crazy: got in at 7am on a Friday morning and spent a couple a couple of hours navigating Heathrow and left luggage. Crashed at my long-suffering friend's swanky pad in Marble Arch, went over to my flat in Notting Hill with one bag and came out with two (which kind of defeated the plan I actually had which sort of involved getting rid of stuff), met some friends for lunch (and had a pretty dull conversation about plumbing and electric wiring - sorry guys, it was dull), persuaded another friend to skive off work early for Starbucks, met people for after work drinks where I literally became Prometheus for a good couple of hours (those were good times), and then had great drinks, pizza, no Nargiley (blasted thing wouldn't work), great conversation and even greater sleep. The next day was basically crazy with last minute shopping and the meet up with other friends at a place where someone apparently felt the need to cut their thing off. Yes, THAT thing. Well, the place was called Zizzi so I suppose the decision wasn't completely random.
The thing which really struck me is how life goes on. You can go away for a number of months which are so intense and so filled with incident and drama, and then come back and things are pretty much normal. And it's actually a hugely comforting thought - that somewhere out there, people are just living their lives and are more or less OK, and that's day to day life. This is a pretty transitory life and gets crazy and pretty surreal at times, so it's good to remind yourself of what normal life actually is about.
OK then, that was completely nonsensical and probably really patronising - didn't really mean it that way... Moving on.
This week, however, was basically a bit of a write off - had a huge amount of work to do but got very little of it done. Just felt completely out of it - you know when you do stuff but can't focus or get stuff done. Idea was to work today to catch up but what did I do instead? Finally tried out my pool and watched Spaced. And wrote this blog entry. Way to go, Caroline. Not really looking forward to tomorrow - have a huge amount of guilt for all the things that I'd promised people but haven't yet done. And got an internal auditor coming in next week. Bugger.
Better get to work.
Friday, 12 September 2008
Fallout...
This is a picture from Gonaive that a friend sent to me in the aftermath of Hanna. You can see how awful it was in that city with people sloshing through what can loosely be described as streets...
First of all, a big thank you for all of you who've been emailing with good wishes and concerns - it really cheered me up and I promise to reply to each and everyone of them. I'm fine and so is Tina the Invisible Kitten (well, one assumes).
In terms of the situation here, none of our staff or their families have been directly affected by the flooding from the last few hurricanes however, one of our field offices in the Central Plateau is completely cut off. We tried to reach them today with a truck of emergency kits but the rivers are still too high to manage it and they had to turn back. From reports, there are a huge number of people over there who had lost everything - especially on the appropriately named Montagne Terrible. As it's not one of the "in" areas, not to mention being practially impossible to reach at the best of times (donkey being THE transport of choice), there are absolutely no government, UN or agency help. Also, just saw some photos of the situation down in St Martin and Martissant - slum areas in Port au Prince where we work. It's pretty awful. When our team went down there to distribute kits to one of the temporary shelters there, they were almost mobbed by an unexpected crowd of desperate people and had to evacuate. So much for trusting the UN to effectively manage the relief operation...
I remember seeing the pictures of this on the news and it's strange how the television actually distances you from what is going on - some random disaster in some godforsaken part of the world. But then it's really different when you live here and you know the people who've lost family, who've lost their savings, their homes, all their possessions, their livestock, their crops. And because of the problems with accessing a number of areas, what food and clean water there is - not to mention medical assistence or shelter - cannot get to them. But I think the worse problem is the lack of hope, and that's something that's I've found to be really striking in Haiti. People have lost faith and hope that things will get better here - political turmoil, criminality and kidnapping, unaffordable food and gas, and now losing everything due to freaks of nature. You talk to people and they say that everyone is "in transit" here - people have lost the sense that this island is a place to stay or a place that nurtures.
We had the BBC in for the afternoon yesterday to look around and piss off Brian with their incessant need to sniff out the misery - back to the whole infamous "Has anybody here been raped and speak English?" school of journalism. It's not that I don't like journalists - I just think they have crappy jobs, especially the roving ones: the ones who go from disaster to disaster without really caring the people or knowing enough the context - just wanting their bit of "disaster pornography". I know it's their jobs and I know it's important that people in rich countries are aware of what's going on here but bloody hell, there must be some way of doing it better.
Had dinner with a friend last night and he told me how last week, his colleague had been trapped on top of the roof of her hotel in Gonaive during Hanna with 7 of their local staff. Max had been frantic getting in touch with MINUSTAH (the UN peacekeeping force here) to get them rescued. So they came in their helicoptors to pick her up but refused to take the local staff. When she found this out, she insisted that they return her immediately and then spent the night on the rooftop with them. The happy ending is that they all got rescued the next day but... It's one of those cases which you hear about but don't actually really believe can happen - that the UN continues, despite all the criticism, to operate this double-standard. I mean, good for her - if I was with my team and that happened, I would have been absolutely furious.
Anyway, if any of you are interested, here's what we're doing in response to the crisis:
And on a much lighter note: I have actually seen Tina - she actually crept out of the cupboard and started eating right next to me. If I make any move towards her, she instantly runs away but I'm trying to learn the virtue of patience. Might buy her another toy to see if money can actually buy love....
And just to cap things off, just to prove that I'm not all doom and gloom, here's a cute joke that a friend sent me:
Job Opening at the FBI
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances are. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . Kill her!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them
Monday, 8 September 2008
Hurricanes
It's strange - it's 8.30pm and so quiet. It had been raining heavily last night and this morning but now I hear nothing. Normally at this time, I would hear a cacophony of music from all the bars around my home and cars, motorbikes and generators and people laughing and shouting in the streets. But nothing - just dogs barking and the hum of insects.
The reason, of course, is Ike which has just passed near Haiti today. From all accounts, it could have been much much worse but coming on the back of Gustav and Hanna...
The last couple of weeks have been crazy - not so much from work but mostly emotionally from a mix of worry over hurricanes and a particularly nasty investigation that I'm involved in. The latter will hopefully finally be resolved over the next couple of days. The former will takes years if that.
So; Fay, Gustav, Hanna and now Ike... Four hurricane/tropical storms in the space of 3 weeks. Figures vary but the immediate death toll is most definitely in the hundreds, and Haiti is a country where the death toll from the aftermath will most likely exceed the immediate. The city of Gonaive in the north had been described by a UN envoy as "hell on earth" after Hanna, which seems an accurate summation from all accounts and now, the bridge that was the last land route into the city has collapsed due to the Ike, and the city of 300,000 is now even more cut off from aid.
A hurricane struck Gonaive 4 years ago resulting in over 4000 deaths and food rioting. The situation is likely to be much worse this year: there are already severe food shortages - witness the food rioting in April - and the hurricanes have made the situation worse with a reported 60% rise in food staples which were already more than most people could afford. Add to that the continuing humanitarian crisis in the south of Haiti from Gustav and the government can't cope. I'm not sure that the UN or us NGOs can do much better to be perfectly honest. Aside from the sheer humanitarian catastrophe always features in the aftermath of natural disaters in poor states with no infrastructure or safety nets, the resultant political fallout from this is going to be ugly. Really ugly.
As for us, we're been trying to put together an emergency response to Gustav and Hanna but it's obviously too soon to do anything until we can assess the damage that Ike has wreaked. Even then, I'm not sure how much we can do - we're already overstretched with large new emergency responses to food security and there's obviously no point taking money from donors for projects we don't have the capacity or manpower to put in place. But then, if there's no other alternative, then we'd deal. I feel like it's the calm before the storm - a couple of days of assessment and then the madness.
This is an Al Jazeera broadcast that was taken a few days ago, just after Hanna. It gives an impression of just how difficult and precarious the situation is in Gonaive especially, but over all the whole country:
http://english.aljazeera.net/news/americas/2008/09/20089623246151559.html
Anyway, making myself a cup of tea now and trying not to think of what's coming.
The reason, of course, is Ike which has just passed near Haiti today. From all accounts, it could have been much much worse but coming on the back of Gustav and Hanna...
The last couple of weeks have been crazy - not so much from work but mostly emotionally from a mix of worry over hurricanes and a particularly nasty investigation that I'm involved in. The latter will hopefully finally be resolved over the next couple of days. The former will takes years if that.
So; Fay, Gustav, Hanna and now Ike... Four hurricane/tropical storms in the space of 3 weeks. Figures vary but the immediate death toll is most definitely in the hundreds, and Haiti is a country where the death toll from the aftermath will most likely exceed the immediate. The city of Gonaive in the north had been described by a UN envoy as "hell on earth" after Hanna, which seems an accurate summation from all accounts and now, the bridge that was the last land route into the city has collapsed due to the Ike, and the city of 300,000 is now even more cut off from aid.
A hurricane struck Gonaive 4 years ago resulting in over 4000 deaths and food rioting. The situation is likely to be much worse this year: there are already severe food shortages - witness the food rioting in April - and the hurricanes have made the situation worse with a reported 60% rise in food staples which were already more than most people could afford. Add to that the continuing humanitarian crisis in the south of Haiti from Gustav and the government can't cope. I'm not sure that the UN or us NGOs can do much better to be perfectly honest. Aside from the sheer humanitarian catastrophe always features in the aftermath of natural disaters in poor states with no infrastructure or safety nets, the resultant political fallout from this is going to be ugly. Really ugly.
As for us, we're been trying to put together an emergency response to Gustav and Hanna but it's obviously too soon to do anything until we can assess the damage that Ike has wreaked. Even then, I'm not sure how much we can do - we're already overstretched with large new emergency responses to food security and there's obviously no point taking money from donors for projects we don't have the capacity or manpower to put in place. But then, if there's no other alternative, then we'd deal. I feel like it's the calm before the storm - a couple of days of assessment and then the madness.
This is an Al Jazeera broadcast that was taken a few days ago, just after Hanna. It gives an impression of just how difficult and precarious the situation is in Gonaive especially, but over all the whole country:
http://english.aljazeera.net/news/americas/2008/09/20089623246151559.html
Anyway, making myself a cup of tea now and trying not to think of what's coming.
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
I'M TWENTY-NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have to rush - just slept an unprecedented 11 hours last night (went to bed at 7.30pm, I was that knackered) and need to get to work and eat breakfast and drink tea in 15 mins.
A HUGE THANK YOU to all of you for your lovely birthday wishes - I didn't realise I had so many friends. Well, ones who are still talking to me, anyway... It was lovely to receive, especially since I was forced to work over my birthday - grrr.
As for the celebrations, got some people together and went to this gorgeous restaurant up in Kenscoff, in the mountains above PetionVille. It was beautiful but bloody freezing up there - people were warning me to bring a jumper or something but I scoffed at all that. Cold, windy, cloudy - felt really at home. I'm not kidding, it was a great feeling! It is possible to have too much sun and good weather. Anyway, here it is:
And here's me with Brenda - our Kenyen Nutritionist. She tells me that the thirties are where it's at - you apparently get the best sex of your life is in your then. Hmmmnnn.
And for pure comedy value - a vid of us driving back along a very bumpy road...
Have to rush - just slept an unprecedented 11 hours last night (went to bed at 7.30pm, I was that knackered) and need to get to work and eat breakfast and drink tea in 15 mins.
A HUGE THANK YOU to all of you for your lovely birthday wishes - I didn't realise I had so many friends. Well, ones who are still talking to me, anyway... It was lovely to receive, especially since I was forced to work over my birthday - grrr.
As for the celebrations, got some people together and went to this gorgeous restaurant up in Kenscoff, in the mountains above PetionVille. It was beautiful but bloody freezing up there - people were warning me to bring a jumper or something but I scoffed at all that. Cold, windy, cloudy - felt really at home. I'm not kidding, it was a great feeling! It is possible to have too much sun and good weather. Anyway, here it is:
And here's me with Brenda - our Kenyen Nutritionist. She tells me that the thirties are where it's at - you apparently get the best sex of your life is in your then. Hmmmnnn.
And for pure comedy value - a vid of us driving back along a very bumpy road...
Gotta drink my tea - will write more this evening.
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Stuff...
I decided to stop moaning about work - it's dull and repetitive. Instead, I'm going to start [cough cough] moaning about the fact that I'll be TWENTY-NINE on Sunday [OK, probably not any more interesting but makes a change].
How the hell did that happen...
Anyway, after a ridiculously long day at work yesterday [cross fingers that the donor allocation module will work today], got home and started aimlessly surfing the net, as you do. And hit on one of the Facebook lists "You know you've been too long in XXX when you...". This one was about the Middle East and thought I'd lift some titbits:
You are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah"
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
The one about the maid is just SO true...
How the hell did that happen...
Anyway, after a ridiculously long day at work yesterday [cross fingers that the donor allocation module will work today], got home and started aimlessly surfing the net, as you do. And hit on one of the Facebook lists "You know you've been too long in XXX when you...". This one was about the Middle East and thought I'd lift some titbits:
You are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah"
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
The one about the maid is just SO true...
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